The Orton's on the Nile - 2005

Kom Ombo, smelly oil and party

Kom Ombo, smelly oil and party

Kom Ombo, smelly oil and party

The reason we had a lie in was we were parking up next to Kom Ombo, the temple of the crocodile god, Sobek. Apparently once all important, as most of the Egyptian gods were, especially because of his link with the Nilee. A mere baby of a temple, started by the Ptolemys around 180 B.C. and finished off by the Romans who just liked to edge their bets when local gods were concerned. It is also dedicated to Horus just in case he got miffed at Sobek having a temple to himself.

What can I say? It was obviously a much newer temple, the double glazing, central heating and French windows down out the back gave it pretty much away. Seriously, it is all down to the style of the pillars and their decorations that help age the temples as a rule of thumb. Could be we were pretty well at temple overload, but were still impressed by the mummified crocs. Each one has it's own little surprise and we had two major piles of old rock (2.8125 litre's summary) to see back at Luxor.

However the fun never ends. We had not only a trip to a genuine perfume oil maker: I tell you no lies - you buy in England same smelling perfume for twice my price and has only two maybe three drops of my oil essence in one bottle. I sell you for much less a whole bottle of essence, very good deal. Is hand made by my Grandmother who personally collects each petal and then using only her upper body strength crushes them in a twenty ton press to extract the oil. For every 25lbs of flower petals she crushes we only get one ounce of oil. Of course the man had to be genuine, he was even offering us a choice of tea instead of that revolting fruity drink of theirs and what's more he was talking imperial measurements!!!!

Well maybe it was the sight of his four teenage daughters done up in their best ankle length black frocks. Mind you, they couldn't have been Muslims as they had their faces uncovered and one of them had a moustache. Anyway, a few dabs of the old oil and you did begin to think there was something in the old sales pitch although I doubt the one about the aphrodisiac mixture that could raise the dead. Needless to say, she who must be obeyed (when it suits me) was reaching for the credit card and even hard nosed Adam was reaching for his wallet. It was quite impressive and you can see how the perfume business racks up its profit by watering down the real McCoy.

No, that's not all! We were to have a scavenger hunt come amateur dramatics party as well tonight. The fun never ends. To screams of make sure you've got some underpants on dad we made with the jollies once again. Over dinner Bob and co had button holed us to be in their gang, but by the time of the party in the bar they had defected and where in one of the largest groups.

Of the things we had to do was provide a: cross dressing couple, a speech of 6 words in Arabic, Charlie Chaplin, an Egyptian flag, a woman giving birth, wear the most clothes and a scene from the Titanic. No problems, the bulkier of the two Irish girls took on the mans clothes and Luke dressed up in his sisters souvenir Egyptian frock. I was going to do Chaplin and the Arabic: Bikham?La shukran, da ketir awi. How much? No thank you that's too expensive. A phrase I had some practice of.

The Irish girls tutored Luke on how to walk with a wiggle and play the femme fatal and he was quite good, and seemed to enjoy his false breast more than anything. Now we finished a close second considering the handicaps we faced I don't think that was too bad. What handicap? I didn't give a toss as I suspected the prize would be more devil juice and Adam was in a major sulk.

Adam's role was to crawl from underneath a chair through Annette's legs while she gave a performance of being in labour and he flatly refused. In the end I ended up playing baby Orton, well it was the only way I was going to get between Annette's legs in a room full of people. It was quite a performance a the strain of hovering high enough off the ground for me to slide my vast bulk out broke Annette out in a sweat and she really looked the part.

I think our Titanic was right up their with the animation greats like South Park and Terry Gilliam. I had not more than five hours previous made a negotiated purchase of a 1/72 scale felucca and we used this on a tray with a large amounts of ice cubes. Went down well. I had asked the beauty queen Irish girl if she would pose for the painting scene, but she declined with a sparkle in her eyes.

Luke was also suckered into piling on the clothing and once more we went first and as they counted off the items you could see those with less waiting their turn pilling more on. Bob's team won that round purely on the grounds they went last and counted how many more layers they needed. For my money rich bloke Dave deserved the prize though. He stripped down to his boxer shorts and was well in the lead until Bob's mob cheated and when the judges (Mohamed and the stewards) said he could have won if they had come off he quickly ran behind the bar and his skidders sailed through the air. The barman didn't know where to look.

The Chaplin scene I thought I would raise the stakes a bit here as I guessed correctly that they would all go for the funny walk and cane. Once again rich Dave did a tremendous impression, but that was not for me. I had in mind the cabin scene from Goldrush where he is so hungry he cooks up an old boot and eats. To be honest I did not expect anyone to have a clue what I was doing, but it must have been alright even subbing a trainer for an old army boot, as Vanessa and Daniel both complemented me on the scene. Teachers on the whole are a pretty sad bunch who can recognise such obscure silent movies.

Sean kept quietly out of the way while all this was going on and only re-appeared when it was all over. The young red headed girl and her fat chaperone had persuaded one of the young waiters to dismantle the ship's flag for them. There were some strange looks of jealousy from the other women and tongues wagged about what she did to get that flag. Probably a bit of pole dancing I should think.

Well before you knew it Sean was back buying the drinks and once more tagging along now all the nonsense was out of the way. I think he was probably the most sane of us all.

Tomorrow it would be back at Luxor and Karnak for the local temples before transferring to hotel Le Mercure which I suspected was French!!!!

Return to Egyptian mini site home page

Copyright 2005 D.J.Orton and A.G.Morris