The Orton's on the Nile - 2005

Sunny side up

Sunny side up

Well our solar egg looked pretty promising the yolk started to cook pretty quick but the white stubbornly refused to do more than congeal into a sticky mess. “Its cause the glass is translucent – it’s letting all the heat through and there’s nothing to reflect the heat back on the transparent white.” Cannot remember who worked that out – must have been a teacher! So me and Bob gently carried the table top and egg over to an area of carpeted deck in the direct sunlight. An unexploded bomb with a motion sensor has never been so gently carried as our solar egg and we never spilt a drop.

At last the white started to cook, but sadly only along the edges and the yolk was drying up big time. We had another conference and it was suggested (Jasmine? Vanessa?) that as you fried the soles of your feet every time you stepped out of the pool that, with the tiles being blue they would be a better cooking surface.

There was a general murmur of agreement greeting this sage like wisdom and egg number one was abandoned to its fate as we prepared an area of tiles to take our second egg. Bob even got hold of some tin foil so we could keep it clean enough to eat – nothing like optimism. Like one egg was going to go round the crowd of Brits interested in our great voyage of discovery. Why old Jesus himself would have been pushed to spread one egg so thin.

Once again our egg started to cook up the yolk and to our joy there was some sign of the white responding to our wishes, but I was not too sure about the tin foil. Last science lecture at the university they had us seeing which material proved the best insulator against light and it was tin foil ergo it would perfectly reflect most of the suns rays back upwards and not let the egg absorb the heat.

Sure enough the egg stubbornly refused to show any great improvement over our earlier efforts. To make matters worse the ship was manoeuvring to dock and our eggs where cast into shadow. Desperately we searched for another surface hot enough to cook an egg. There!!! The bar was a dark coloured granite like veneer and it was piping hot!!!

At that moment the waiters came up from below to set up the barbeque in the bar area and flatly refused to let us loose with our last egg. Where the eggs cooked? Well they took some removing form the table and tin foil but they still looked pretty damn raw to me and there were no volunteers to try one. We were still debating our failure over several pints before staggering down stairs to our cabins, much, much later.

It was fancy dress night and the girls mostly got togged up as slim line belly dancers and were an impressive sight. Annette compromised with a nice translucent shawl thing and some genuine Nubian jewellery . Adam and Luke wore there outfits from the boat people at Aswan, looked very much like a couple of oil sheiks from a porn movie, and I compromised with my Egyptian hieroglyphics T-shirt and genuine made in China Nubian hat that one of the waiters took a shine too.

All in all we looked a right bunch of prats, mind you the Irish girl looked mighty fine to me. WARNING! WARNING!Vegetarians skip the next two lines. There we all were scoffing our barbequed chunks of animal flesh by the hundredweight when up came Sean dressed in t-shirt and shorts. All he needed was the knotted handkerchief on his head to be the typical postcard English man on holiday. What a star! He never even batted an eye when there was a low rumble of boos because he had quite sensibly refused to fork out for an Egyptian outfit for one night. I have to say he moved up a few notches in my estimation for sheer courage and single minded will power.

The party drifted along despite the fact Sean remained a true individual and we had a good last night aboard. Tomorrow we had a lie in, we were only transferring to the hotel Le Mercure – sounded French to me!!!!!!

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Copyright 2005 D.J.Orton and A.G.Morris