The Orton's on the Nile - 2005

N i l e e

N i l e e

After the usual refreshing shower and cold drinks, it was once more time for lazing around on deck watching the banks of the Nile pass by. A quick micro roasting on the sun deck, a dip in the pool, casual conversations and of course cold beer.

Adam had found a table tennis bat and ball so he started to play a game with Luke but, sadly neither were very accurate and the slight refreshing breeze that cooled the 40 degrees scorching down to a bearable level soon sent the ball sailing back towards Aswan.

Our next diversion from the ultimate chill out experience was Scrabble. Things were going fine, I even made some five letter words I kid you not!!! Annette was going to lay down one of her Hungarian eight letter masterpieces on the triple word bonus, full of zs, xs and js when she relaxed a bit too much and sent an e sailing into the Nile. Well it has to be officially recognised that from this day forth, there are definitely two es in Nilee.

Luke was once more well in with the Dutch and with Adam joining in occasionally they were performing a biggest splash contest in the pool. We were still on crocodile watch in between dropping the odd vowel overboard, but reportedly all crocodiles were removed to the southern side of the Upper damn and Lake Nasser. Most probably true as the only one we saw was in a bucket outside a market stall. No doubt the same beast got sold many times over.

You can picture the scene now; half cut with your mates, and behold a genuine crocodile. You haggle for the price and it is remarkably cheap even by Egyptian standards. If the wife doesnt like it it will make a lovely handbag. Next morning you step bleary eyed into the shower and end up with a croc chewing on your big toe. Reality bites! Could not resist that one. With much more difficulty cold stone sober you manage to get the beast up onto deck and drop it over the side without loosing a finger. The little snapper swims happily along until netted by the same stall holder who sold it to you last night.

Before we new it the sun was setting and we could remove our sun glasses and venture indoors for more food. Those of you love the old pasta rubbish would have been delighted to see heaped plates served up as appetizers before the first meal. Last time I saw a portion that big was at Freidricks Strasses Chinese take away the day after the T.A. beer. Luke moved straight through his first dish and devoured a second. Bob reminded him this was just a starter so he declined a third portion.

We had some live entertainment tonight; belly dancers!!! Dont quite know what Adam expected but, I knew that Arabs like their women on the well built side of the bone and lets face it if they are built like Posh Spice the only thing likely to shake is the earings. I have a thing about the old local musics: the busker in Berlin, the one armed accordionist in Nienburg, Indian sitars and the local Egyptian sound with their home made instruments. The most popular of which sounds like a cross between a violin and a guitar. About 12 of the best imperial inches money can buy in length, it has a small round sound box and four (usually old washing line) plastic strings. Surprisingly enough it can make a nice haunting melody that goes well with the bongos.

Anyway, we tare ourselves away from river watching and wander into the bar area. The old bongos are going like crazy and the little Egyptian fiddles are in full swing and we just catch the last few minutes of a well proportioned woman dressed in full regalia waggling about on the dance floor. Brazen hussy was showing all her ankles and face!!!! We had a few minutes instrumental interlude must have been put on hold, and then out popped another woman dressed in a more Hollywood style belly dancer outfit.

Adam had got one on him over something, claims Luke was getting on his nerves (probably) so he was unimpressed. Well the lady could shake with the best even though Adam still swears she was a bloke I can personally testify she was all woman. Having read a bit in the guide book about the art it transpires that they are still considered somewhat not nice ladies by Egyptian or Muslim society, but historically they were most definitely good time girls one and all.

Anyway having shimmered all over the place and wobbling bits that would have made Andys eyes pop out she decided it was time to humiliate one of us and walked over to Adam to get him up. Have you ever seen a snail disappear into its shell? He slouched down as low as possible into his chair and resisted all attempts to be dragged out. He even had his first poke with a lady, but she could not get him to his feet.

It was about this point amidst all my mirth that I quickly became aware that Bob was safely on the far side of the table, so was Dan and just about every other male in the room. Oh, shit! I was on the wrong side of safe and had attracted attention to myself by yelling at Adam to stop being a chicken and go up. Some times a mans just gotta do what a mans gotta do. After all I had watched all the Brit ladies doing their belly dancing stuff the other night mostly to varying degrees of soft porn, so it was only fair that I make a fool of myself. In any case, I had called Adam a chicken so had to put on a brave face.

Despite Adams doubts she was clearly not a gender bender, and she was a Muslim. Islamic faith requires a woman to have no hair on her body other than on her head and I was close enough to see a well oiled smooth skin shaken, but not stired. She had a chest that Andrew would have treasured, at least a pair of 44s ( not poncey metric imperial) and she had them moving in directions I had only dreamed off.

The plot was that I should copy her movements and generally give everyone a good laugh. She hauled up my shirt to expose my vast bulk and let everyone see the quivering flesh. No problems there. Got just a little worried when she went behind and hauled down my trousers to expose more belly. Why? Well I know I have a fat gut and that does not over duly worry me, but she had tugged so hard I could feel them slipping down and with it being so hot I had decided to go commando.

Without giving the game away I pulled them back up to a safe height and continued with my embarrassing gyrations and open ogling of the bouncers. All too soon it was over and the smooth oily dancer let me wander back to my seat. Adam was full of it: Ha, should have seen your face when she pulled at your trousers! Should have seen Adams face when I told him, why I got worried. I think I should have let them fall just to embarrass him to death. Everyone else thought it was good fun.

A lazy start in the morning, 07:30 hours.

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Copyright 2005 D.J.Orton and A.G.Morris